if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
