Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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