Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize