Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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