did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize
