He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
