I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
