Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
