Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
