I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
