So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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