everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Rumble strips road head = magical
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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