Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
