Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
