Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
