I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
