You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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