and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
