Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize