It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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