marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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