whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
