Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
