Cold hands, warm shart.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What drink are we having for lunch?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
