White coat. Heels.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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