Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize