Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
