you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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