my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
