Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
