I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Semen is not good for contacts.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
