Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
