My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
