I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The uberlube is also flammable
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
