I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
