Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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