the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just pee around me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The struggles of a small town man whore
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