I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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