i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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