He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
