she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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