haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
