That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
