thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
