Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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