okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
