Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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