wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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