I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize