Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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