So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
