You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Randomize
