I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize