This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
